Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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