I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
