The maid of honor just puked.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
