Got a toothbrush?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she smelled like a LAN party
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
