these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Panties = found
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
