i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
