we have pet lesbian snakes
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
