This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
