areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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