THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
