you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
