um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
