I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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