so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
should my penis look like a turkey
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
