She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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