my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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