you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
