you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
