i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
