Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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