She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
