Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
