She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
