is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
