hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
This toilet bowl is my home.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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