I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
