I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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