when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
