just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
