Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
