you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So many bounce houses so little time
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
