I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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