I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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