Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
