Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
