Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My vagina just recognized that song.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
