just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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