I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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