I got chris browned last night
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
