Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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