my vag is so smooth its legendary
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
