It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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