Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
