Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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