If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
