Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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