They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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