Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
