My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
