i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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