omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
