I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is Oprah even human
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
