those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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